Cover

Date read: 03/06/2017

Summary
“You only have so many f*cks to give, so make sure they are about the right thing.”
Mark Manson details a counterintuative approach to dealing with life’s problems. Care only about what you can control, and don’t concern yourself with everything else.

Structure

  • Don’t try (trying leads to disappointment which leads to unhappiness)
  • Happiness is a problem (if you try to be happy you’ll get nowhere)
  • Suffering (is a key part of life)
  • Choice (over your response to events)
  • Being wrong (about everything)
  • Failure (is also a key part of life)
  • Saying no (be selective as to when you say yes)

Quotes
“You have to fail in order to succeed.”

“You can’t win if you don’t play.” - p38

“If everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary.” - p60

“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.” - p79

“Because when you give better f*cks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems you get a better life.” - p89

“We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.” - p94

“Many people become so obsessed with being right about their life that they never end up actually living it.” - p118

“I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering.” - p139

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” - (Aristotle) p143

“If someone is better than you at something, then it’s more likely she has failed more than you have.” - p150

“Action isn’t just the effect of motivation, it’s also the cause of it.” - p160

Key Takeaways

Backwards law
Everything worthwhile in life is won through conquering the associated negative experience.

Law of averages
The majority of life is unextraordinary, chances are you are just average (everything tends towards the mean.) However, in the media age we are repeatedly shown the extraordinary (and not a lot else).

Question your emotions
Negative emotions are calls to action to do something positive.

Life is suffering
Life is problem solving, which leads to more (usually better) problems. Happiness comes from solving problems.

Controlled interpretation
We don’t control what happens to us, but we do control how we interpret it (5% events, 95% interpretation.)

Embrace the uncertainty
Become comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Manson’s Law of Avoidance
The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.

Romantic love is unhealthy
People are either trying to take responsibility for someone elses problems or have someone take responsibility for theirs. True love is taking responsibility for your own problems.